"Reality Realignment Surgery"

I tried desperately to go back to sleep, where it's safe and calm and nothing seems to out of place. I went seeking dreams, memories & comfort: the well was dry today, try again tomorrow.

Every day seems to bleed into the next. No clear way to decipher it until I check my phone.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Seconds are now hours.

Hours are now days.

Days are weeks.

Weeks now years.

So on and so on and so on...into infinity.

Despite that fact that someone hears me I still feel like my voice is lagging and the sound doesn't line up with the images on the screen.

Miscommunications.

Misconceptions.

Miss.

Just. Miss.

It's a mixture of everything and nothing that mutilates my sense of sanity. Top that with an inescapable desire for the simplest things that were taken for granted and now can't even be spotted on the horizon line, another speck of dust floating off into the vast world, blending in and becoming no more important than the rest.

Dry your eyes now. You don't get to cry.

You don't get to break down.

You. Get. Nothing.

You. Are. Nothing.

Face it, you gave that rite away when you couldn't bring her here, into this world.

See, the truth is...you, insignificant child...your ability to seek comfort and solace died when you couldn't delivery her entirety. You're used to that though, aren't you?

Of course you are...

Here's how it's going to go:

#1. You're going to stop with the feelings. They don't suit you & you're no good with them. Gather your 'playthings' and put them away.

#2. Give it a rest with trying to be a better person. Hahaha! YOU, of ALL 'people'...and I use that term VERY loosely with you...will never be BETTER or a PERSON. So, save the world a bunch of headache and time...and stop already.

#3. Let that empty thing that taps at your should consume you completely. You know, as well as I do, that that's the ONLY way it's going to get easier. Let it in. Let it soothe you & hold you tight, like a blanket that you...just...won't...release...

That's right, close those tired little eyes.

Let your mind rest. Let it linger in the cool, endless obsidian room you know so well.

Good...very...very...good.

...now you're here and they're safe from what you are...you made the right decision...you've saved them from more and more of whatever it is that you are...

Now.

Sleep.

Don't dream.

Don't remember.

Don't.