“Seen”

I suppose if that is the goal then yeah...I put on my crows feet eyes, rubbed free of gunk. Get up and shower. Stand on the semi-sterile, burning water and stare into the wall as I lather, rinse, repeat & then dry off. Clean clothes. Boots. Get my bag, keys and cigarettes before heading out the door into the cold. Physical cold that will come back to haunt me later.

It’s about a 20 minute drive to work, the place I can hide in plain sight and not have to answer a lot of questions until someone notices we pacing back and forth. Then it’s the questions...and I get why but...just let it be guys, let’s be socially distant. Don’t take stock in me and you can’t be disappointed...trust in that.

I try to just be quiet. Stay in my lane, in my zone & definitely not on the radar for those oh so lovely “Hey, can we talk to you for a few minutes?” conversations. The ones that start with “If there’s anything we do for you...” and “You seem off today...you okay?”

I loathe those things so much.

Let me be a workhorse.

Let me keep to myself.

Don’t get caught up in me.

Don’t put stock into me.

I’m a good soldier...I take orders, put in work & keep it moving...so let me do what I do best:

Shoulder my shit, take my beatings & die alone.

That’s what I was built for.