“Annual”

It’s a been a year since this shit storm really got started. So much. So many, many things.

One huge chunk of life is no longer within reach...or...however you want to title it.

I used to have visual reminders of who I’ve lost.

I used to have visuals of my best everything.

...I had to give those up because I know I don’t deserve them, I can’t hold onto them because I threw away my rites to beauty, ecstasy, sexuality & most importantly, true love...

My memories are fading. Just blurry visions of smiles, laughs, happy memories & the comfort of being truly complete.

Annual: yearly reminders.

Annual: nightmares in 3D.

Annual: prayers & tears.

Annual. Each year. Every year.

I can not and will not forget.

Another is closely coming.

Another behind it as well.

I live in seconds and sections of my mind.

Its survival now, no longer solace.

Cookie to Peach-Cream...

I will never stop being sorry, regretful & pained.

I hope you do t share this for I’m the one who deserves the painful unknowing.