“Side Roads”

My Dearst Peach-Cream,

Today was a nightmare...

As went thru the state toward the coast we passed many, many dilapidated houses on the sides of many roads. I thought about you. I remember our epic adventure plan.

“Okay, let’s drive around and take pictures inside & out, let’s venture into the past and show it.”

Every dropped in roof, siding wrecked, foundation crumbling skeleton that shone past the briars and brambles made my throat seizure.

Eyes blistered with held back tears.

Nostrils therapeutically ached in renewing flora.

Heart. Heart a flutter with sickness, sorrow and absolute need for understanding and self infliction. Eyes wide, slimily coated in fear, lubricated with self loathing & dripping in the regrets of former fuck ups.

I take her tomb upon me, wholeheartedly.

Every. Single. Solitary. Broken. Home.

They reflect the terror felt in that morning when we fought like meth heads over the last shard.

We. Both. Made. Pain.

Me. More. So. Than. All.

It won’t end for me and I truly never want it to.

I will gladly white knuckle grip the handles and wear that casket on my back for...whenever. However long. No questions. Just for justice.

You have to heal and it’s beat for you and her.

I’m the borrower of power and I let the enemy in.

Tainted the well that fed our family.

On the side roads.

It’s me doing the eye work.

I see the soulless places that need life.

I’ll give mine to release their door of protectors.