“Insomnia & Void”

My lungs feel like they’re filling up with water and I’m drowning at the slowest pace possible. It’s my own damn fault and I’m okay with that part. It’s just a simple fact at this point. My stomach churns, my hands are tingly, my eyes feel like they want to close forever and yet they can’t seem to do so. Sleep is elusive and my brain keeps flipping thru channels. I feel like I’m losing my mind at this point.

It’s like a void is opening wider and wider in my chest. A swirling vortex the likes of which resembles a black hole, devouring the universe in slow motion. That’s how I feel at this moment. Impossible to laugh and mean it. Cut off from spark joy. Heaviness like a lead vest in an x-ray that seems to have no end.

There are twitches in the corner of my eyes and odd noises echoing in my ears and brain. This sadness is deafening yet explosive at the same time. My entire everything is breaking down under pressure at a massive scale. Again, it’s my own damn fault and I accept that fully.

I really just want to sleep all day and night however sleep comes in drip drops. Hence why I feel like I’m losing my mind. We all need rest. Recharge. Refresh. Yet here I am, wide awake and hating it with what is left of me.

I had to get that out. Thanks.