“To find”

For me something like finding new music definitely takes my mind off of things and helps to distract me from my BPD and emotional distresses. I genuinely enjoy seeking out fresh sound and giving them a whirl so I can expand my audio inventory a little more from what it was the day or week before. Sometimes it’s heavy and crunchy, sometimes light and airy, other times a mix of the two. A welcome side path from the one that gets me stuck in the mud.

I’ve also found new things to watch. Movies, shows, documentaries etc. Add to that new games as well.

New foods also help…or at least food shows. Lol. I can’t seem to get enough of these Korean food shows lately. Each has its own topic and I get so lost in them it’s astounding.

The only down side is I have few people to converse with about these things so that’s a bummer, however, it is what it is and I deal with it to the best of my ability without getting too bogged down about it. So I shrug it off, take a breath, hold back the torrent of oncoming tears and push forward. It cuts knowing I don’t have the ability to talk with certain people but I know it’s for the best. At least that’s what I say to reassure myself.

So for now, I keep finding new things and ways to occupy my mind and emotions and heart. It probably seems pathetic or weak or even downright “losery” to others but that’s not a concern for me. What others think can no longer be something I allow to impact me or my well-being.

Time to relax and wind down. Get back to center. Have some time to reflect and leave it behind me so it doesn’t carry into tomorrow.