“The Science of Shush”

There is nothing harder than wanting to accept a limb when you feel like you’ve just slipped over the edge of a waterfall. It’s by no means exciting. It’s frightening. It’s having your colon shift gears into your throat from your ass cheeks and when you attempt to vomit you can almost taste the shit you’re going thru.

That just happened.

It’s been hours since I saw the limb. I’ve been pondering what to do and so far my heart says accept and say something…try to make a conversation happen…my head says don’t say a word and just keep it moving. I’m at a pass and I’m not for it at the moment. I need to think.

What’s best for you and then the world you’re in?

I have protect myself or I’m not worth my weight in gold for those that depend on me to be better every day.

I feel guilty not responding considering all things. I feel empty and shitty and horrible. I don’t feel human.

So now I sit awake and just think…like a fool. Like a fucking cheap asshole mixed with a healthy person.

I hope I make the best decision. Time will tell.